Him at work: Oh you’re pregnant? I thought you were just getting heavy because you got married.
Me: I wish I was her, she’s all warm & cozy.
Lady: How do you know, did she tell you?
Her, (while I was attempting to breastfeed for the first time): Just give her milk!
Them: Your doctor’s an idiot.
And why do people insist on knowing how much I gained?