Ha! Another List…

This was posted on Facebook today and I just had to include it in this blog. It’s perfectly put and funny, (and I’ve experienced most)!

23 Things I Think New Parents Should Know

, Blogger, Mammalingo.com

1. The more time and effort put into decorating a nursery, the more likely that the baby will sleep in your room.

2. Things that don’t wake a sleeping newborn: loud noises and bright lights. Things that do wake a sleeping newborn: sitting down to eat dinner.

3. Maybe they’ll say it’s the eyes. Maybe they’ll say it’s the mouth. Whatever it is, people will insist on telling you that your newborn looks like you. It’s almost never true.

4. You may not want to cut your baby’s nails because you are afraid of making her bleed. However, if you don’t cut your baby’s nails, she will probably scratch herself and, then, she’ll bleed. So, why postpone the inevitable?

5. There is no greater thrill than the first time a baby calls out “mama” or “dada,” even when it is directed toward the cat.

6. Sleeping a lot and eating a lot are traits highly cherished in babies. Unfortunately, neither are particularly admired in adults.

7. As a new parent, strangers will often approach you to ask, “Is she a good baby?” Surprise them by saying, “No, she’s kind of an #$$hole.”

8. You will discover that there must have been something very, very tricky about composing a melody for “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” The ABC’s,” and “Baa Baa Black Sheep.”

9. From the moment you arrive home from the hospital, you will be asked if your baby sleeps through the night. Tell them you don’t know. Tell them you spend most nights out clubbing.

10. Make sure you learn all the noises that farm animals make. Even though most people no longer live on farms, the sounds that sheep, pigs and cows make are priority number one when teaching your little one to talk.

11. If she is wearing a nice outfit, it is likely that your baby will poop.

12. If you are wearing a nice outfit, it is likely that your baby will poop.

13. Despite advances in science, no one has figured out how to diagnose a dirty diaper besides sniffing at it or peeking in it. When you’re in public, learn to do this discreetly.

14. Never in your wildest dreams (or worst nightmares) did you ever imagine how much you would be talking about poop. Unless you work for a laxative company. If you work for a laxative company, you are probably already talking about poop a lot.

15. Strangers are friendly when you’re with with a baby. That said, strangers are even friendlier when you’re with a puppy.

16. One of the surprise perks of having a baby? When you’re with one, you can talk to yourself out loud and people don’t look at you like you’re crazy.

17. Everyone tells you to “sleep when the baby’s sleeping.” It’s good advice. But, remember, it’s “sleep when the baby’s sleeping… unless the baby fell asleep in the car and you’re driving.”

18. Don’t beat yourself up over every little thing. Babies have really low expectations.

19. If you think you might be posting too many pictures on Facebook, you probably are.

20. No matter how much you love your child, naptime is never long enough.

21. When people come to visit in the first weeks after you come home from the hospital, remember they are there to see you and the baby. Remember they don’t expect you or your house to look perfect. And remember, if you are talking anywhere near the baby monitor, there’s a good chance they can hear you.

22. The secret to being a good parent? There isn’t one. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

23. When all else fails, if you can’t stop your baby from crying, turn on some music and dance around the living room. Even if the crying doesn’t stop, at least you’ll enjoy yourself.

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Advice for Dads of Daughters

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters

{by Michael Mitchell}

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

***

http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters

Newborn Lesson #43

August 10, 2011: There is a cry indicator! …of sorts.

12 reasons babies cry and how to soothe them

by Dana Dubinsky
Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board
Last updated: January 2011

There’s no getting around it: Babies cry. It’s how they communicate hunger, pain, fear, a need for sleep, and more.

So how are parents supposed to know what their baby is trying to tell them? It can be tricky to interpret your child’s cries, especially at first.

Here are the most common reasons babies cry. If your little one is wailing and you don’t know why, work your way down the list. Chances are you’ll find something that helps.

1. Hunger

This is probably the first thing you think of when your baby cries.

Learning to recognize the signs of hunger will help you start your baby’s feedings before the crying stage. Some signs to watch for in newborns: fussing, smacking of lips, rooting (a newborn reflex that causes babies to turn their head toward your hand when you stroke their cheek), and putting  their hands to their mouth.

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Newborn Lesson #40: Hurtful Words

August 9, 2011: Try your best not to let other people’s words hurt you.

When Mila was first-born (in the hospital and then right after being home), comments made had me very upset (to the point of tears). I kept telling myself that I was still emotional (or hormonal) and that these people were only trying to help — no matter how hurtful or wrong they may have been.

Here’s an article I found helpful:

Unwanted parenting advice — how to defend yourself

By Barbara Rowley, Parenting.com

 

August 9, 2011 8:54 a.m. EDT

(Parenting.com) — As a baby, my daughter Anna refused to wear her shoes or socks. Not a big deal if we lived on a sunny beach. But we live in Montana — and she was born in late October. So the first line of the mother-daughter battlefield was drawn: I put her shoes and socks on, she worked them off. If she was lucky, she’d push them off when we were in transit and they’d be lost forever. Score: Anna 1, Mom 0. Continue reading

Outdated Advice & Baby Myths

Let’s break up these “lessons” a bit with a little article posted today on Yahoo’s Shine.

14 Most Outdated Pieces of Baby Advice

Much of yesterday’s baby wisdom has been proven untrue today. We checked in with Parents advisor Ari Brown, M.D., author of Baby 411, to get the scoop on why these old-school parenting facts have become fiction.

By Amanda First

Myth: Infants need to be bathed every day.
The truth: Babies don’t get stinky from sweat the way adults do, so they only need a bath every two or three days (except following a major diaper explosion!). If it’s part of your wind-down routine, a daily bath is perfectly okay too–just moisturize afterwards.

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